Matrescence

Dr. Dana Raphael who coined the word DOULA in 1969 created another word. One that I feel deserves some integration into our language and comprehension around Motherhood.

Matrescence. Go ahead and say it. Feel how it fills your mouth and may stumble out for a few rounds before finding its cadence. The word is meant to honor the transformation a woman undergoes when becoming a mother. Like adolescence it is a time of tremendous change. Yet during adolescence we give grace to those awkward years, and excuse behaviors, mood swings, and a variety of demeanors under the umbrella of understanding “oh, its just adolescence, it will pass”.

Yet, when a woman gives birth and loses control of everything from her bodies shape, to her ability to sleep we do not allot any grace for this phase of life.

Why?

New Mothers in particular need support.

Need care.

Need loving compassion for being a mess. It’s messy.

As I brew another human in my body and feel all the changes taking place, not just in my physical body, but the mental, emotional and spiritual preparation necessary for me to walk through a birth (I’m scared), and the first months where I am not only caring for a newborn, but now have a very attached 4 year old to nourish I am saddened by the lack of care and honor we have for birthing mothers.

I am speaking about women who birth, because that is what I am, I can only imagine how this word applies to all the other paths a person can take to becomes a parent.

I wonder at how many other issues may fall away in some generations if we were to honor Matrescence, and allow mothers to mother deep and true, to give children the unconditional devotion that they need, demand and thrive with.

What will happen in my own life, if I can find a way to honor my own matrescence?

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